The message of today’s Gospel is clear, violence never works. It may bring some passing satisfaction, the illusion of success, even a sense of winning but as Jesus’ parable teaches, in the long run it doesn’t work at all.

The gospel also invites us to nurture what it calls, the good fruit, to let go of greed, jealousy,  anger, resentment and bitterness and to find ways to nurture in graciousness, love, gentleness and forgiveness and find ways to be grateful. These are not signs of weakness but of strength  but we have to work at them.

The gospel reminds us that we don’t belong to anyone, we are not someone’s possession, whether we are married or single. We come to marriage as two people. No matter how close a marriage or a friendship, we always remain individuals. No love or friendship ever fully takes away our separateness, our identity, our individuality. Nor should it. Although we might grow together in our union, we grow as individuals, and not in someone else’s shadow. 

We don’t stop growing, maturing, discovering new ways of viewing life, more things about ourselves throughout life. That doesn’t stop when we get married.  It is that complexity that makes this relationship intriguing and interesting.

Even when we have children, they are not our possessions but rather we are called to care for them and to give them the freedom to grow, to nurture the good fruit.